Insecurities and self doubt

Self doubt will likely kill your dreams faster than actual failure

We all have insecurities, be it with our physical appearance, our work capabilities, our knowledge and/or even driving. We all have this feeling that we are not capable enough in certain aspects of our life or if you are part of the “confidence is key” ratio- good for you! Thats awesome!

Insecurities start at a young age and it could be something that some one said to you that brought this to your attention or even can develop in adulthood when you feel like you are “not enough”. Social media is the new Sunday paper and unfortunately we are drawn into this fantasy world where we actually believe that what we see on social media is the reality of a person’s life. Let me take you back in time, think of your time at school (urgh, good for some, bad for others). That’s where my physical insecurities started. Having curly, unruly hair usually cut by my mother didn’t help, neither did my awkard choice of clothes or my complete lack of confidence. Being picked last for most sporting activities didn’t help either because I sucked at almost everything and I’m convinced that due to my height advantage, I was advantageous for netball.

Fast forward to varsity, I found some sense of owning who I am. The outrageous makeup choices and colorful leggings was my signature and dude I really enjoyed my self expression. The fun times at varsity didn’t last because internship came and I was the last to literally learn almost everything. I was always the one to make the most silliest mistakes and never had the confidence in myself to believe I could do what was expected of me. I found myself in my mid twenties doubting myself (I still do) at every chance I got. I have this gift of always being my biggest demotivator. Listen to Kanye West's Runaway song and that's basically me in a nutshell.

This kind of behavior led me to believe that I was never ever going to be good enough for anything in my life and that resulted me in becoming a people pleaser. Never a brown noser- a people pleaser. I relied on the opinions of people whether they had the brain capacity of a mashed potato or actually endorsed with knowledge.

I’m not that person anymore, well I’m working on that. Insecurities don’t disappear overnight so give it time. This negative connotation added to your personality makes you believe that you can't or won't (which deters you from actually trying) and this makes it harder for you to be mentally healthy. Your mental health is heavily impacted by how you see yourself, be it in the mirror, or the quality of your work or just how you think other people see you. Lack of self esteem and lack of confidence are 2 things we need to work on in order to improve our mentality. When you believe you can do something and actually succeed, it’s a rush of adrenaline that can never be explained. How will you know if you don't try?

How many of you have been given a task and felt initially, that it’s something that’s “too much” for you and decided to not go through with it? You gave up because you didn’t feel good enough or capable enough to complete the task. I feel that way almost everyday. I started this thing where I just… wing it. Lol Im serious, I fake it till I make it for most tasks (ask my manager) and usually I do just fine- maybe sometimes or I learn from my mistakes and grow from there.

It's time to shove those insecurities in the boot of your life and possibly set them on fire when you can! It’s holding you back and it’s controlling the narrative of your life. There’s nothing worse than rejection of any kind and that’s ok because you are not gonna be everyone’s cup of tea of shot of tequila. BE THE WATER THAT THEY NEED (jk). If you aren’t your biggest supporter, then who will be? If you fail? So what, try again.

Self belief and self confidence unlocks doors in your mind that pushes you to test new waters- you never know what’s out there. If you don’t believe in YOU, why should anyone else? As you scroll on social media and see your peers progress in life, understand one thing- you don’t know their journey so don’t compare your journey to theirs. When I started my most recent role, I had no idea what I was doing and had no idea where to start however, looking back, I beam with pride with how far I have come.

It was almost impossible for me to take a compliment until someone told me “just shut up and say thank you”. Insecurities hold you back in life and the whole point of life is moving forward. It’s about accepting your big nose and belly fat, it’s about accepting that you will probably never have the skin you always wanted and it’s also about accepting that this is how you were made by God.

If you suck at creative arts, don’t study animation- be realistic now. Lol. You probably fit better with analytical work or business related endeavors. Not everyone is good at everything! Not everyone is going to drive a Ford Ranger or Range Rover- a Tazz takes you to the same place. Don’t let humble beginnings lead you to believe that you should be embarrassed or ashamed of what you have. Nobody knows your journey apart from you.

Never let your insecurities run the lanes in your brain because insecurities do not come with traffic lights or with directions- it’s purpose is to make you feel less than who you actually are. As I said in my previous posts, never let anyone or anything make you feel less than who you actually are. You are capable, you are strong and you are enough. Going forward be mindful about what you say to people, for instance, a females weight is sensitive -don’t be a douche and make a comment. For a man- his occupation is his livelihood- don’t be a pompous brat and make comments on it just because you have a corporate, suit and tie job.

Insecurities is like a layer of foundation that you might build your future on- don't let it get to that. Let your foundation be your capabilities and your confidence. Nobody really talks about self worth and self confidence. It is a tragedy however we need to change that. Remember to be kinder and to be more thoughtful with each person you meet. Don’t be the reason for someone else to doubt their capabilities or their appearance- it leaves a mark for years to come. A mark that is very difficult to remove.

By the way… if it’s any consolation, I love my weird outfit choices, my quirks and my raging curls- I love it because it’s mine and I wouldn’t change a thing!

Do you have insecurities holding you back in life? It’s time to let go and accept this beautiful human as you are.

Here’s to healing!