It’s always YOU vs YOU!

Always choose to be “Player 1”… You are the main character of your story.

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We have this innate tendency to compare our lives to others and without even trying, we become this big ball of unhappiness because we feel as though whatever the next person has, should be yours. Be it happiness, a healthy relationship, a fancy car or house- we all compare ourselves to the lives of others at some point in our lives and become dissatisfied with all the wonderful things we have already. This type of thinking is going to get you into trouble in more ways than one, for instance, if you compare what Kim has to what you have, you will start to become envious and insufferable for others to even be around. You analyse everything about Kim and go down a rabbit hole of why you can’t be more like her. It’s not about Kim though, is it? It’s about you not being happy with you.

Now read the title of the blog. It can be quite ambiguous because if you look at one angle it sounds like you are fighting against yourself, and another angle is fighting for yourself to be better. It’s always you versus you. It’s all about being a better version of yourself than you were yesterday. It’s all about improving your outlook on life and working with what you have to be as happy as Kim. The moment you compare yourself to anyone else, you unknowingly belittle yourself and think the worst possible thoughts about your own capabilities. There will always be someone more beautiful, more intelligent, more interesting, more powerful, more everything- but they won’t be you. They won’t have your awkward quirks and weird nose and they won’t have your undeniably unhealthy taste in Netflix documentaries.

You can go your whole life comparing yourself the life of others as you look into their lives from rose stained glasses, never knowing their actual reality. Comparing your life based on a trailer of what you see in another’s persons life is quite ridiculous isn’t it? You see the cinematic and cgi effects with flashing bright lights and think “Wow, they are so lucky!” Relax, people only show others what they want people to see- let that sink in.

The biggest battle of your mental health is trying to be better than you were yesterday or even earlier this morning. It has nothing to with anyone else and should never involve anyone else. It’s always about being a better human being that deserves a beautiful life and you are entitled to that. You deserve the right to a beautiful life. You are allowed to be happy and possibly happier than ever! Now there’s a lot of people that don’t even know the extent of what self sabotage can do. It can cause you to lose belief in yourself and doubt your insanely amazing qualities just because you are fighting yourself. In this context- it’s literally you are attacking yourself. So how do we turn this into something positive and something of actual meaning? Here are some of my suggestions:

1.        Never compare your life to a glimpse of what you see in another’s persons life. That’s their life- not yours. It’s their struggles and failures that you don’t see that make you feel you have a crappy life.

2.        Never compare your capabilities to others. If you didn’t perform well at something, it’s a learning lesson and a way for you to correct yourself. Take this as a positive action and not beat yourself up about it.

3.        Make sure that each day a new version of you is updated. Just as you run to the App Store to update your apps, take some time to update yourself. Erase that old mindset and always tap into a more positive, fresh and productive way of thinking.

4.        Don’t take things personally especially if it’s work related- that will just mess you up. If you made a mistake, look at it as a point of learning and a point of reference because it will make a good story one day.

5.        Don’t be too hard on yourself! Nobody is perfect and neither are you nor am I. We are all just here to learn, do our duty (as per God) and leave this earth one day. Beating yourself up about what some idiot work bully said about you does not define you- it defines them… shame those poor, unsalvageable fools.

6.        Turn your insecurities into your capabilities! You hold so much power already, you are just using it the wrong way. If you are a creative thinker, create ideas in that way. If you are strategic and analytical- use that. Don’t feel bad if you aren’t strategic in any of your approaches in life or in the workplace- use your stronger suit and your actual skill set to make things happen.

Work on being a better human being from the inside so that you are able to carry that magnetic energy to other people. If you performed shitty yesterday, that’s ok- there’s still tomorrow. If you were rude to a petrol attendant this morning and now feel this sense of “I shouldn’t have been that crappy so early in the morning”- it’s fine, don’t be rude to people going forward. If you stopped and looked around at the miserable people that exist in your life and in your office and in your home, you slowly see what you don’t want to be. You don’t want a mediocre life- we don’t do mediocre. You deserve a magnificent one- a life of hugs and smiles and obviously boundaries because nobody should walk over you, but a magnificent life, nonetheless. The only variable in life you can change is your own mindset and how you want to live this life. It’s only up to you. Everyone else and everything will change according to their own needs or desires.

Ever heard the phrase “you can’t compare apples to oranges”? Well, that dude knew what he was talking about because there are no apples to apples in human history! No two people are the same- hell even our fingers are odd in length. Even with that knowledge we find ourselves in this cycle of wishing we had what Don has or what Kim drives or even what profession your friend Samantha has. You would never be a nursing manager because you hate the field, but you glamorise her job already and want it. No. No. No. no. Snap out of that dear friend, it’s going to ruin you. Hard work is going to get you places and absolutely nothing else. If you perform lack lustre at work, how would you attract the role you want? If you are a rude, miserable, whiny person- how in Gods green earth will you attract the beautiful life you desire?

It’s always YOU vs YOU. And trust me, in this competition, there is no losing nor is there any disqualification. It’s no holds barred, full on tables, chairs and ladders and I’ll throw in a cell just for fun. Now go on, claim the life you want and wake up everyday with a fresh outlook, a new narrative, a strong grip on the wheel and eyes forward into the day. Always remember you are the main character of the story- own it. Be the leading role in your life every single day and be the best software version of yourself.

May the odds forever be in your favour!

Hope this was helpful. Keep in touch. See you soon 😊